Whether you’re letting go of stuff, clutter, a negative thought, person or dream, letting go is not easy. For some of us, pitching our old records or childhood doll is easy. For others, dismissing a thought or goal is easy. I’d argue letting go of people in our lives is the hardest of all.
So how does someone let go? There’s not a simple clear cut answer but there are things we need to consider. What makes it possible, and what are things we can do or believe that will make the task ahead of us easier?
- Remember your value, worth or happiness isn’t wrapped up in your things. Five extra pairs of skinny jeans or a second food processor won’t add to your life. Now you may be laughing, thinking it’s not hard to get rid of duplicates, but for some it is paralyzing. Your value as a person can’t be determined by the “stuff” around you. That’s the biggest lie we all are tempted to believe.
- Ask yourself, what’s the worst that will happen if I let this go? If the result isn’t detrimental or catastrophic, it’s probably okay to let it go. This summer I was organizing a dining room sideboard and the client told me a story about the two Waterford vases she had in the sideboard. She had to give up one of them to her ex-husband in their divorce 25 years ago. Well now the Waterford vase is back… they are remarrying after all these years. If the item or person is meant to be in our lives, they will return.
- Don’t cave in and try to get it back. Once it’s in the bag, in the car, at Goodwill, or in your friend’s closet, there’s no taking it back. There is very little in life that we cannot live without. You don’t need to second guess yourself or wonder if you made a mistake. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself that it was okay to let it go.
Here are some questions to consider for reflection.
What am I holding onto so tightly? What would happen if I loosened my grip? What value do I place on my things?
Photo © David Morrison / depositphotos